Thank you for the research and this article. There is so much wisdom hidden in it for the smart ones who can grasp it. Well done, that was hell of a lesson and very amusing to read. I completely agree about what you said about women needing to be feminine. When feminism started, it was a good thing. Women should not be discriminated against, simply because of the fact they are women. Unfortunately, feminism has evolved into a twisted, man bashing, insane monster that has women trying to act masculine and shaming other women for being too feminine.
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At this point perhaps we should rename feminism, female masulinizationism. Our society seems to want to make women into men and emasculate men. Look at most television sitcoms. There is the stupid, lazy dad and the sexy, smart mom who does everything. It is great that they are being encouraged to follow their dreams and do what they want, but when we start to make some girls feel bad for not wanting take STEM classes , we have tipped the scales in the opposite direction.
Balance is everything. To be truly equal, people should be able to be who they are without feeling ashamed.
We need to stop making men feel bad for being masculine and making women feel bad for being feminine. Great article, wish I had read it sooner. I started out by being nervous but confident that he would like me, just like lots of other guys do…he was showing a lot of interest, going out of his way to talk to me for hours, etc. Then as time went by I started to get insecure. I was also now sleeping very little due to work stress so my confidence was about as low as my energy.
Of course I was kicking myself afterwards, but it felt inevitable. My vibe goes off. And eventually, he just loses the attraction. What I wanted to ask is — do you think there is any way for him to regain interest after I massively stuffed up by giving off a desperate, too-much-too-soon vibe? This is someone in my social circle — in some months I will be at group events with him again over an extended period. Thanks again for a wonderful article that will be helpful to me in future regardless of whether there will be any possibility of seducing this particular guy.
Very rarely it happens I feel anything for a man and when I do yes there is a lot more at stake. There are things that are not clear to me : 1. How can a woman not worry and not care what happens if she is in love? Does this mean that only cold women who look for fun not love can be seductress? You know, not all women are carefree, some have problems, sick kids etc. And still they find men, how do you explain it? Best regards. Wow what an amazing intellect you have.
So keep up the brilliant writing which I knw is gonna help so many ppl…. You have provided so much clarity. I wish I would have read this a year ago. A guy friend once told me I should just have fun with the moment. I said, why play a game when I know exactly what I want? What are women suppose to act like? All people regardless of gender have both masculine and feminine components to their personalities. Stereotyping specific behaviours according to gender is what we should all be against since it results in people dictating what we should behave like, which from all your articles I have read you seem to be against.
That said, I am not saying that all men have masculine energy and all women have feminine energy. You could have a man who has highly pronounced masculine energy or highly pronounced feminine energy.
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Same with a woman. In a gay relationship, you will tend to see couplings where one man or woman has one energy and their partner has the other. Again, this is on average. And also, none of this is debating for or against the idea that gender is a social construct. These days TV and movies are more about pushing political ideas about gender roles than they are about reflecting anything that resembles real life.
So if you want to see masculine energy in a movie, watch the female lead in just about any movie in the last few years. If you want to see women acting into feminine energy in their roles, watch movies from the s and s.
Now, from a definition standpoint, I can give you descriptions of masculine and feminine energy… though the descriptions versus perceiving the energy firsthand with your senses will be a lot like reading about honey instead of actually tasting honey. Emotion, color, expression, the physical senses… this is the world of feminine energy. Masculine energy lives in being the observer outside of life… it stands back and observes what is happening, then picks a direction to move forward in.
Both of these energies have their own dark side. Both of these energies have great strength and both of these energies are greatly important to society both in function and culturally. And yes, both men and women have a masculine and feminine side. So there you go. I just want to say thank you. We know intuitively that a relationship is what you contribute to it, and that in order to contribute we really need to be first whole and complete ourselves.
I never really feel the need to comment on the articles I read bur after reading few these I really felt centred again. I think the take home message from all of these articles is that a relationship takes two. Choose and focus on you first in order to be able to contribute your share to the relationship.
And that authentic enjoyment and appreciation are the very things that will have it flourish naturally! Waoo great article I find it attractive. My man is replusively a bitter guy. Get over jealous when he sees me talking to a guy. Best me up…. The guy is a stocker, never cheat…. Okay, so I use to talk to this guy and it was fun and all and I suppose I got the wrong vibe as to where I wanted a relationship and it just pushed him away completely and its fallen off since though we still chat every blue moon, could this method rekindle what we had?
Everything from within will resonate in a persons daily lives… even when one thinks they are masking it; the energy is very present or revealed shortly upon interaction.
It must be believed from within to radiate outward. Eric, you are a complete self absorbed idiot. You only want to please yourself. Typical of men…no…boys today. You must have low self esteem, not to mention your moral compass is WAY out of wack. You have never met a real woman. Well let me introduce myself…meet Kelly, a 52 year old woman way out if your league.
I look hit for me…not men aka.. Good luck with your illusion of your distorted world. Apparently your upbringing was less than honorable. This was a pretty long article haha but I find it very useful and interesting. Its good that you focused on the very details of each and every point. Looking forward to the 2nd part of this article. Hope you are good : Your friend Malu ;.
Great article, really brilliant! Thank you, Eric. Also being happy with yourself, living in the moment, accepting that you are Ok, just the way you are. Enjoy your life and yourself, strive to be the best version of yourself, enjoy and accept a man instead of obsessing with a him …It all sounds so true to me.
What I mean is you know very well not only guys and what they like, but also how women typically react and think about men. That is very impressive. Somehow, it is unclear to me…how can I be a prize for him. Instead I was putting out that I was less valuable than someone else. I was worrying they would leave and wondering WHY?! How could they do that?! It was exhausting and pointless. But I finally noticed the pattern and realized I was doing this to myself!
I was in control of my emotions and I was in control of how I was acting. Granted, the men who vanished may have still vanished. I hope to retain and practice the psychology between men and women. If only I knew sooner. Bad habits are hard to break but at least I can practice. Thanks for bringing me real hope. I am 53 and have been married for 26 years.
This is why I clicked on your article. I was impressed by your insight and appreciated the blunt wisdom you expressed, but I was absolutely delighted when I realized how much the article was speaking to ALL of my relationships — familial and social. Thank you, and keep up the good work. It went really really well, we had a great chemistry, loads of fun and I felt safe and at ease with him. He is a really very nice person but he is afraid of getting into a relationship.
I believe that chemistry is important but time together ensures the formula is correct. He is divorced for last 8 years and had 2 relationships since. Last ended 8 months ago. He ended them both. I can be quite impulsive and enthusiastic and I am afraid I could be quite overwhelming for him if I am not careful. I feel sad for him that he is closing himself up because of fear, I know how that feels like and I think he deserves better. We also live far from each other miles which makes things even more difficult. He travels a lot around UK but it is very random.
I feel we could be good for each other but I am a bit afraid I could be wasting my time. The problem is, I might still have feeling for him, and I feel like if I tell anyone, I might ruin my friendship. But I AM worried about a ton of other stuff. Not the relationship necessarily, but something. I met a guy on this dating site POF. I need some advice what I can do this will be the 3rd guy within the last two months to act interested and when I get close this is what they do to me. Hi Erica, having been there done that, I understand.
Being on a dating site gives both you and the guys a lot of opportunities, most of the time i found guys were happy to flirt for awhile and off to the next new thing that showed them interest. For me i learned to have fun with chatting and getting to know guys without getting attached. First you have to be ok with the fact that not all guys are going to like you, do you like all guys?
Second, the guys that are truly interested in finding a relationship will show it, ask you on several dates, want to meet not just chat online, those are the ones that deserve your time. There were guys that were a great match while chatting but meet them and not so much. Dont take every flirt or conversation to heart and just have fun! Best advice I have read to date! You are awesome Eric! Will be looking out for future articles from you! Gonna give this a try! We hang out a lot I met all his close friends and family, we talk about everything he tells me about everything thing in his life even the most shameful thing.
Everything you say is Sometimes we really need to know how needy and damn stupid we can be! Pushing away negative thoughts can backfire, especially for people with anxiety.
I advocate finding out how to be at peace with life… to be in touch with your internal sense that you are still OK, even in spite of everything. This was really well written, and I agreed with most of it. Thanks so much for writing it. As for people thinking their whole lives something is wrong with them and seeking an answer — that was spot on.
You really have to let go of that shit and live in the moment — that means enjoying the moment fully and really being present with someone. Then you are in tune with them instead of worrying how they feel, what they think, etc. You also made some important points on with-holding and references to popular self help books aimed at women… One in particular I think.
It has always been a major point of confusion for me. In the art of seduction, if I really wanted to win a man over, I would probably have to give the whole being taken out for dinner thing up, right? I try to be spontaneous and sexy and enjoy the moment and everything but at the end of the day it always feels like I am doing everything. I hear other women talk about being taken out and hear it on movies and tv and it just sticks in my brain… The relationship could be PERFECT but this one thing just ruins it every single time for me.
I always think to myself there must be something wrong with me for him not to want to take me out! And if I ask him to do it he actually refuses. Quid pro quo. I enjoy being with men but… I just want a little reciprocation.
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It is written from the perspective of a man… talking about what seduces men… in response to a woman asking about how to seduce a man. Not exactly a recipe for bliss and joy, hmmm? Has nothing to do with ambition, aggressiveness, etc. Being feminine, being receptive is not weak… it is strong… and that is empowering. Your points on being present mirror, in many ways, points on being feminine. My comment on that is more covered in the second part of this article, where I talk about specific actions in seduction…. Great article. His loss ;-. The thing is for a good seduction a right men is required.
Really Nice, and somehow Eric it comes across as you really care, which is the best part of responding.. It may develop into something or maynot — no pressure and it is OK. I write my opinions on this site… I write what I believe to be the most effective way to address the situations the readers ask me about. I forget what it was but it was somthing you endorsed who said the oposite of you hence my confusion thanks for responding to me and first time too.
Ma dude, you are speaking the truth. Be the hottest version of yourself. Hi Eric, Great article, thanks so much for this perspective. Hi Ann, your message caught my eye as it seems like you are hurting. Several ladies there are quite relationship savvy and can help you approach this. Do you remember the part of this article about not caring? But one must ask, why is he still single? He chased me for 3 years straight before i even gave him a slice of the pie, and still chasing but not quite the way i want. I believe my desire for a family and a life with someone i love is clouding my judgement a bit, and this article along with my prayers help me come to that realization.
Thanks Eric. I tend to worry and over analyze so much that drives my friends nuts when i ask for advice. No more. Well I need some spot on advice! Whenever we are standing listening to our instructor he tends to lean over and stay against my arm and also when he speaks to me he leans forward and comes really close.
He and I chat almost everyday. Please give me advice how to make him fall for me or what I should do. Thanks Hassa. Hi, Eric, am profoundly impressed with your insight into male-female dynamics. This is a topic I find intensely interesting these days. Long story short, in the past year after a traumatic experience that turned out to be a huge blessing, I lost 30 pounds, fell in love with myself, and became a feminine woman that masculine men are really attracted to!
I also became fascinated by men in general in a way I never had been. So thank you! Anyway, thanks! It is not easy to meet your soul mate and live happily ever after in complete peace and harmony… We live in a consumer society where everything happens at light speed and if you want to seduce a man you like , you have to correspond to everything he wants in a woman. Technology has revolutionized love not only with dating sites and dating apps, but also just with the use of cellphones. When I began trying to seduce my very first girlfriends, I had to call their house phones if I wanted to talk to them… I can tell you that when the dads would answer the phone, I was quickly thrown off!
I often say that as adults, we are reflections of our childhood and experiences. The most poignant example to think about is that your experiences with past boyfriends can be repeated again with other men… But always remember: Each person is entirely unique, and in order to seduce a man , you have to keep this in mind.
In Love, there are two types of past experiences that will have a considerable influence and will determine the way you act, as well as the way that the men you might meet may act. Your personal past and childhood influence the present! You must accept your past, work on any mental blocks you may have, and live in peace and harmony with all of your experiences so that you can make your way towards a happy and healthy love life. It is primarily through taking action that you[re going to get back in control of your love life and daily life.
I am a field coach and I come across these issues on a daily basis. That is why I know how important these actions are in order to get you closer to your goals. Study his mental blocks and the problems he may have faced when he was a child or adolescent. This is often the absolute best way to understand many of the most important aspects of a relationship. This aspect is essential but you should not be too needy or be at his beck and call. Your wants and needs are just as important! Your past experiences in love are undoubtedly going to play a role in how you act today, and the same goes for men that you meet.
Even if the decision to separate was yours, it was simply because you were no longer happy and you began to suffer in the relationship. It is now obligatory to move on from your past experiences in love, let go of both positive and negative elements of it, and focus solely on the present moment. I meet many women who are trying to recreate the same exact relationship they had with their ex, and this is completely impossible.
There are two possibilities under these circumstances: Either you try to get your ex back , or you mourn the relationship and move on so that you can give an actual chance to another man. The same goes for any man you meet that is still holding on to his past because he had just divorced or is still in love with his ex.
I suggest you abort the mission! Pain and incomprehension reign because in the end, the man ends the relationship as a result of having understood that you began the relationship too quickly, without really having known one another. You end up being dumbfounded, because it was often he who went into the relationship full throttle, without even talking about it with you.
You were so happy to see a man who was able to commit and be enthusiastic about it, and so you went with it. Unfortunately from one day to the next, he became distant, gave you less attention, and a few days later it was all over. These relationships complicate your chances of finding Love because very often it is the men who are at the initiative. They do not hesitate to declare their love for you right off the bat but then they go back on their word a few weeks later.
Bear in mind that something that builds up too quickly can burn out just as fast. Just be careful to properly set things up or your partner might end up becoming disenchanted.
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This is why I want you to get in control of seduction and be proactive about seducing a guy! After focusing on the modern issues with dating and seduction, I felt it was important to follow it up with my coaching philosophy so that you would have a different approach to meeting and seducing guys. As a love and relationship coach , I enjoy going deeper in my work and refining my analyses so that I can draw connections between the different situations that I encounter. Be careful, I do not mean that you should try to found a full fledged, committed relationship immediately.
I mean you have to be aware of the fact that there is nothing more powerful than two people that accept one another and become stronger as a result. This is also why physical attraction cannot be the only reason for getting into a relationship with someone…. In I coached a woman who asked me something that really stuck with me. I encounter more and more women who want to learn how to be more in control of seduction and not leave the success of their love life up to other people.
How to seduce a man and make him really fall for you! - French Relationship Expert
Do you also feel this desire to be in control of who makes the first move? Do you want to put all the odds in your favor? There are tools that exists that can help you to be naturally seductive while making a man see you as the grand prize! She remained herself, but even better! In order to be seductive you have to be charming.
Charm is what makes you attractive, what can get his attention, and what makes a good impression. In order to develop your personal charm , you have to become more self confident. This is the key, because it helps you to stand up straight, have a natural and magnetic smile, speak in a seductive tone of voice, and be confident in your ability to seduce. Every single human being has something to offer as a result of their past experiences, knowledge, and abilities, and if you become aware of what you bring to the table you can completely revolutionize your love life!
The advantage that you have, ladies, is that we live in a society largely influenced by traditions and habits. The two go hand in hand! When you want to know the best way to seduce a man and make him want to make the first move, which I know is not easy, you just need to have a generally seductive and open attitude. This is the moment to use eye contact and a beautiful yet discrete smile and not for ten minutes straight.
You might even want to step outside your comfort zone a little and playfully tease him or ask him a question that crosses the friend line a little. Keep the eye contact going during your conversation to let him know you are listening and fixated with him. One of the most sexy things about a woman is when she is smiling and having fun. Get creative and have fun with your words. Put a little time and effort into the seduction process and he will appreciate it. This one seems a little too obvious but if you really want to seduce a man with words, just ask him what he wants to hear.
Sometimes straight to the point works wonders. You will fail if you try and seduce a man while pretending to be a slutty porn star. Please knock that one off before you start. If you are looking to capture the attention of the male species, you are better to dress up sexy in a hot dress than start a deep emotional conversation. This tactic is especially successful if you are already friends with the guy or have at least met already.
Here are the tips that are going to help you with your focus of seducing a man with words. You can be gentle and subtle by confessing to him you just got out of the shower or something along the lines. So keep the explanations short and sweet so he keeps wanting more and more.
Before you get too carried away, here are a few set rules for seducing a man with words.
If you think using just one of these tactics is going to get him, you are dead wrong. Be patient and persistent always.